I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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