I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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