He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
