nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
