He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
