Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
