Too much gin, very little bucket
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
