i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
did you just send me my own nude
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
