Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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