apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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