hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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