ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
