I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
