I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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