i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
