sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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