Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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