I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
