Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
