Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
