is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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