he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
