tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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