A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Vodka?
Forever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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