Dignity is for republicans.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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