Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
