I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
