The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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