4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
