the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
