Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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