I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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