im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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