there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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