It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
