We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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