David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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