I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My penis needs a shock collar
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
