i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
