Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
