He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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