My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You can't motorboat a personality
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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