Cold hands, warm shart.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
