turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
