i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
