so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
