ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
