I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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