God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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