I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
