i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
