I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
